I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
