HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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