so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
