Bisexual people are plain selfish.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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