I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize