just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
