the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
