bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize