We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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