Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
