can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
