Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
