Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
