Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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