My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
