1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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