She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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