so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
