Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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