He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
