She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize