my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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