..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
