whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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