worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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