her facebook's as public as her vagina
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
