please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
