arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
