Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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