I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
