I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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