I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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