I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
