she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
