My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
