ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
