We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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