Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
