I can't watch pbs sober anymore
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
