In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
