Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
