Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
it was like eating out sand paper
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
These tits shall not be calmed
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
