I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
