Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
