I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
