you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
