Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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