So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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