i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
