it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
