The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
