Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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