I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Randomize
