her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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