drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
