Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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