He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
