I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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