he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
