Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
