If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Damn victory sex feels great
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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