Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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