she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
only if we run a train.
done.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
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